![]() ![]() ![]() I suppose stepmoms are a kind of mom you want to fuck, anyway just not that kind. Though it’s hopeful to see that stepmoms are third on this list, not for the often thankless work they do trying to seamlessly fit into a new family, but for their fuckability-and that, what’s more, they’ve surpassed the MILF. Perhaps the “lesbian teen” search will one day combine and knock the other two out of the running, but until then, stay strong, ladies. Lesbians and teens continue to hold the first and second slots, as they have for decades no other group can surpass the searchable charm of any teenager, anywhere, regardless, except two women expressing sexual affection. You know what I always say: Shame-based avoidance and/or disgust is the mother of invention.īut let’s get down to brass tacks and take a closer look at those search terms again: Some 60 percent of Millennials watch porn on their phones rather than a laptop or desktop, which makes perfect sense because a phone is the easiest thing to hurl across the room in disgust the moment after you have an orgasm and can’t believe what you were just looking at.Dudes still have the monopoly on porn at 76 percent of PH’s viewers, while women make up that other 24 percent, and I’m sure feel very bad about it.Millennials reach the promise land of orgasm one minute and five seconds sooner than older generations, who, it’s safe to say, just need some time, okay?.I believe-through sheer, un-researched and unfounded speculation-that this is because you have the worst sex of your life between the ages of 18 and 34, and that most of that bad sex happens on the weekend. Monday, fun day! The most popular day of the week for 18-to-34 year olds to watch porn is Monday.You know how they are: Always not having that much sex with people they can’t decide if they like enough to make plans with. Or at least friends to see and to sometimes fuck, and then not be with. Under-34s watch the least porn on Saturday, presumably because they have actual people to get out there and try to fuck.and midnight, whereas old people, obviously, need that sleep to live. Millennials watch most of their porn between the twitching hour of 11 p.m.Not surprisingly, those now aged 18 to 34 comprise about 60 percent of Pornhub’s viewers, while the other 40 percent are dead as far as we care. Over at Mic, Nicolas DiDomizio rounds up the data-69 they did with Pornhub as to better understand how the kids rub one out these days. Viewed beside the next top five terms- mom, step sister, Japanese, threesome, massage-and it appears that being chill and progressive hasn’t stopped Millennials from keeping their erotic subtext heavily family-oriented. These aren’t just the perfect list of words for meditative chanting, but rather the top porn search terms typed stickily in by millennials, according to Pornhub. ![]()
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